Too much golf???

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”

“Yes” says the woman.

“Did you hit him with that golf club?”

“Yes, yes, I did……..” The woman begins to sob, drops the club and puts her hands on her face.

“How many times did you hit him?”

“I don’t know….. five… six… maybe seven times… just put me down for a five.”
**********************************

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, “Are you a good golfer?”

The man replied: “Got here in two, didn’t I?”
**********************************
The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said: “What are your golf clubs doing here?”

He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”
************************************
Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway.

“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old, “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens.”

“Ah, that’s nothing,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re 70, you don’t have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens.”

“Actually,” said the 80-year-old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.”

“Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked the 60-year-old.

“No, I pee every morning at 6.00 am. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all.”

“Do you have trouble having a bowel movement?”

“No, I have one every morning at 6.30 am.”

Puzzled with this the 60-year-old said, “Let’s get this straight. You pee every morning at 6.00 am and poop every morning at 6.30 am. So what’s so tough about being 80?”
“I don’t wake up until seven.”

Popularity: 1% [?]